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Friday, March 6, 2009

I think I'm ready.....

Well, I think I'm finally ready... to go back to work...
I took some time off from nursing after my Grandmother passed away in November of last year. To be honest, I wasn't sure I'd ever go back. I was physically & emotionally drained after caring for "My Princess" for 18 months (the last 7 months equaled 24 hour care & the last 4 months equaled Hospice care, all of which I did on my own, with the exception of the times my children & hubby helped). I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat to have her back, but her death left me feeling empty, like I had no more to give... I got my first job in a nursing home when I was 17 years old (I'm 34 now). Seventeen years of taking care of people. I'm not complaining, I always knew it was what I would do. Well, since I was 4 years old I knew, that's when my Grandmother & I decided my future, so that I could take care of her when she got older. Once I did that, I felt like "my job is done". Little did I know that after 17 years.... it's who I've become.... I take care of people.....and I'm good at it....and I'm kind of lost without it. My hubby pointed it out to me the other day....told me he thought I was ready.....that I'm miserable sitting at home all the time.....and listening to my friends talk about their day at work.... what this resident did.....what that resident said. So, yesterday, I filled out an application for a local nursing home that a friend of mine works at....I know the Director of Nursing there, I've worked with her before... not in this particular facility...she also works in another nursing home as an RN Supervisor. My girlfriend took my application in to work with her yesterday....and the DON called me yesterday & asked me to come in today for an interview....so, I sat & thought about it last night. Am I really ready? Yeah, I think I am. I think it's going to be hard at first.... alot of reminders of my time spent caring for my Grandmother.... but I'm a tough cookie.... I can handle it.... I'm sure some tears will be shed at first..... but it's who I am..... I need to take care of people..... my kids are young adults & pretty much do their own thing. I guess that's why I've been miserable... no one to really "take care" of. I made one other attempt to go back to nursing a little while after my Grandmother passed away.... I WAS NOT ready ! I pulled in to the parking lot of the nursing home I worked at before quitting to take care of my Grandmother, to ask them for my job back...and I burst into tears....I couldn't even get out of the car! I drove back home in tears & decided that that was it... nursing was over for me...guess I was wrong. The hubby noticed this morning, that I'm not as miserable as I have been lately, so I told him about the interview (I hadn't said anything to him...in case I couldn't do it...in case I burst into tears again before ever making it out of my car...in case I just wasn't ready yet). He had tears in his eyes as he hugged me before he left for work this morning.....told me he was glad I finally realized that this is what I NEED to do...that it's who I am.....so I just want to say Thank You to him....for always knowing me better than I know myself.....for knowing what I need before I ever realize it myself...and for supporting my decisions (1st when I needed the time away from nursing ~ he sucked it up big time to cover all the bills...and never once complained... and again for my decision to go back). Love ya Baby !!

10 comments:

Yaya said...

What an amazing husband you have!

Good luck deciding what is best for you at this time.

Dawn said...

it is a comfort to me.. to know that when i am not myself... and don't know what is going on inside me... that my hubby knows me. so glad that yours has openined your eyes, when you lfelt like you couldn't... wishing you much luck on your interview... or much comfort if you decide you cannot walk in... yet. i am so thnakufl that in this world there are people like you... people who take care of people. thanks!

Nicole O'Dell said...

What a loving and caring family you have...your grandma, your hubby, yourself...how wonderful it is to have that kind of support.

GL with the interview!

Ps, I grabbed your button for my networking page.

heathermac said...

Best wishes. You have been through so much, but you will be able to help so many more people with your experience. Be blessed.

Diana said...

You sound ready, and I really admire Nurses, especially ones who love taking care of people as much as you obviously do, it is a gift..and God Bless your Husband..how lucky you are to have so much support..We will miss seeing so much of you, I know I will, but I bet you are looking forward to getting back in it and doing what you love to do..Hugs, and Blessings, Diana

Grand Pooba said...

Wow, that is great that you cared for you grandmother by yourself! My gma died last April and all us kids took turns caring for her everday. It's so sad watching someone die.

I'm glad you are getting back into nursing. Sounds like you are made for it! I hope all the best for you!

Military Momz said...

What a wonderful remarkable person you are! Best wishes to you and so sorry for the loss of your grandmother!

Misty said...

HO--Good Luck! You can do it! You know your good at what you do!! And your hubby knows it!! And your kids do to. Looks like we'll both be losing our fb time!! Hopefully you'll get on day shift!! and have 12 hours shifts like me, that we'll we will sorta be on the same schedule, and still get to talk. Love YA!!!--HUSSY

Jules said...

That's awesome that you're ready to get back! Takes a lot of courage, and will power! I bet though that when you get back in the groove of things you'll find that it will take your mind off the very things that bother you. Especially for those of us that help other's. I find that if I have something bothering me when I get to work, I quickly forget about it, and find myself doing what comes naturally.
Good luck with getting back to work!
Take care & smile!! ;0)

Monkey's Momma said...

I took care of my grandpa too. My grandma now lives in the lower level of my house, and she will be taken care of, no matter what.

 
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